By Hampton Diner
A genuine leader, who loves to be showing, but not quite sure if she’s coming or going.
The guide to a city where she’s never been, but that doesn’t stop her describing the scene.
She may be lost, but still knows where to find a salon to colour her hair.
A natural authority on birds and bees,
and cars and flowers and botox and trees.
She dashes ahead, climbs over gates,
cuts across lanes, gesticulates.
Explains in great detail when none is required,
then thinks if you yawn, you must be tired.
Leaves the toilet seat down!