I used to get terrible nightmares. In them, he’d look at me with emptiness. Saying he never loved me at all or that he just didn’t care. I’d argue as long as I could, bawling like crazy, and wake up. The real tears flowed and the “real him” would put a comforting arm around me saying “It’s okay babe, it was just a dream.”
But now, I think back to the day when the “real him” told me he “didn’t know if,” and his real face expression matched the empty one in the dream. My subconscious knew, why didn’t I?