“Unintended Consequences: The Movie”

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By Todd!!!

From his cloud-top throne God bellows “Silence!”

All goes silent.

A drunk girl screams “Wooo!” (She’s from New Jersey.)

God clears his throat. “Ahem.”

Jersey girl shushes the already-silent crowd. “Shut up people! The creepy wizard guy is talking!”

God unfurls a tattered scroll titled, “Screenplay Idea,” and reads aloud:

“In a dystopian future, a handsome deity endows a species with a unique capacity called ‘reason!’—

… blah blah skip to Act 3 … aha! Plot twist! …

—Species then uses said ‘reason’ to invent rationalizations for its barbarism against ‘lesser’ species …”

Boring!” (It’s Jersey girl.)

Lightening strikes.

She never sees it coming.

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