Questions Google Can’t Answer

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By Frances Tate

Why does the attractiveness of the weather inversely correlate to my plans for the day?

Pondering this as I drive to work in glorious sunshine, I discover another mystery.

Why am I paying more attention to the vehicle in front of me than its driver is? She’s perfecting the stereotype and the even distribution of her foundation.

The red traffic light takes on a different meaning as a mascara wand appears. Waves. She rolls forward, crosses the lane marker. Again.

I’m tempted to follow her to work. Attach a bright red ‘L’ plate to her vehicle. Warning: Lipstick under application.

             
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