Hard Five


By John Adams

“I’m not here to tell jokes.” He scoops up the microphone with the same confidence he practices rescuing sea otters from oil spills. “I’m here to tell truths.”

“Your ‘truths’ aren’t funny either!” a woman heckles over her Jack Daniels.

A bead of moisture forms on his forehead. “Humor distracts us from a world in crisis.”

“I wish it’d distract us from your set!” calls another rando.

The comic starts full-on sweating. “Fight the establishment!”

“Fight your booking agent!”



Defeated, he spends the rest of his five minutes talking about the wacky things people do with their butts.

John Adams is a founding member of That’s No Movie, an improv comedy team that plays at festivals across the United States. He lives in the Kansas City area, where he produces comedy shows and frets about writing.

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